I'm one of the unfortunate class of humans to whom lessons come the very hard way and this was no exception. Today's was actually a reminder of what I had already knew (rubbing salt in the wound as it were ) and it cost me about 6 hours of time    

1) When trying new things and a solution has been found, be VERY sure to undo everything else that was done to get to that point (also make sure those steps/attempts are recorded somewhere lol) and not related to the end result.

2) Tinkering as a troubleshooting methodology is generally not a good idea. Head back to the original starting point and build your way back up.

The culprit:
the only thing I changed here from a troubleshooting perspective was to add 'catalogues' after 'quick_news'. Had I removed this line instead, Miller Time would have come a whole lot faster. Secondly, the template this was in turned out not to be related to what I was trying to accomplish in the first place but I had neglected to remove it, d'oh!

Oh well, on the upside: troubleshooting usually means poking around and trying out things that one may not have normally tried out and as a result, new stuff is learned.

{+START,IF,{$NEQ{$PAGE},quick_news}}

I can say that for that to be valid syntax a comma is needed:

{+START,IF,{$NEQ,{$PAGE},quick_news}}

I swear Chris, starting with my own damn self, commas and semicolons are next in line on my 'put me in an early grave' list! Thanx kindly for pointing that out, 'twas the issue all along!  

*mutter*, damn commas, *mutter*, stoopid semicolons, *mutter*